Well, I'm finally getting back into this. Creating my own little quirky side of the internet, because I can't stand the thought of actually being on a legitmate social media. Personally, I know the hardest part will be the CSS. Getting everything down will be easy. I hoping this will build my skills though, then maybe I'lll eventually learn how to use JavaScript. In a way, it'll be a journal. A creative piece that I've hand constructed over time and time, till eventually we all become ash again.
The first thing I'll have to do is figure out what kind of layout that I want, that doesn't look absolutely nightmarish. I know I want a section for D&D. I'd love to be able to make custom HTML/CSS layout of my D&D characters, so that other people could use them if they found them interesting. I would maybe even be willing to go as far as making every single one unique. Like, if it was a fire-based Druid, it would have more flame elements or if it was a winter-theme, then snow.
I'd also want a place for my fanfiction. I'd still post on Ao3, but as long as I make a disclaimer that the characters aren't mine and that I don't make money from posting them on my personal site, which I don't, since I wouldn't put adds on it, since it's a hobby. I would also include my zines and a printable format for them, so that people would be able to print them. While my hobbies are niche and special, I'm still allowed to have a fun time expressing them and the worse case scenario is that the internet goes away forever and I just have memory of the skills. I'd also want to make a section that was dedicated to my ships and fandoms, that maybe would be able to get accessed through it, since it would really only be relevant there.
I could also see myself having a section called "A Little Bit of Everything" that almost acts like an everyday diary, but it's never me doing the exact same thing twice. E.g. I could paint Warhammer multiple times, but it would never be the same miniature/faction. So, if I painted a Skaven once, I would never post about painting a Skaven again in that particular section. It's almost like a unique entries kind of diary. I don't need to write what I did every morning if it never changes, but logging when there are changes would be a neat way of documenting things.
I'd also, to encourage me to get out my comfort zone, would maybe want a movie/book review section. Where I engage in different kinds of media and then can give me opinion and maybe a βοΈ rating. This would make me want to read or watch more things, since I already don't to begin with.
And, man is this list getting long, but I would like to make an HTML/CSS based "Choose Your Own Adventure" / "Dating "Simulator" on the website. It would take a bit of effort on my part, and I would need to do a bunch of research, but it would be fun and a good way to direct traffic to my site, especially if it was for a popular fandom, e.g. Baldur's Gate 3, but it's a Zevlor Dating Simulator! That's honestly how I plan on getting traction. Giving people what they want in spaces that I'm already in, which isn't a lot, but where there's a crowd, there's a way.
I shouldn't have to state this, but I'd also leave a spot for my personal work. The kind that I don't ever expect to go anywhere, but the shear rawness of them might have some impact. Hell, maybe I'll put some up for adoption. Like, "Please, take this concept, flesh it out for this fandom or make it fit your own, then let me see what you can do with it." We're from a generation where the idea well can run dry, everything's already been done, but not done like you would do it, so who am I to stop people from.
Basically, if I was needing to describe myself to a person in the easiest way possible. I want a site that would show them who I am, what I've been up to, and what I want to do. For example, in a dream world -- where money wasn't a problem, I'd like to have an Antropology Bachelors Degree and some form of Master's degree in Water Biology, so that I could then be a Water Archaeologist, but also then so I could go to law school and become a lawyer in Maritime law. So TL:DR "Water, Archaeologist and Maritime Lawyer." Do you realize how much education that takes? A lot. Let me break it down, by time and cost.
Antropology Bachelors Degree | 4 Years, Approximately 66,000
Marine Biology Master's Degree | 2 Years, Approximately 56,000 (I live in a landlock state, so I would have to go out of state for this degree if I was wanting a better quality of education, therefore accuring an out-of-state tution fee)
Law School Juris Doctor | 3 Years, Approximately 68,000
Maritime Archaeology PhD | 4 Years, Approximately 00.00 (Optional)
Eventually, depending on the state of the world, maybe I would want a PhD. That's why it's listed as optional, but also most places may be interesting in covering the cost and subsidizing the lifestyle needed. The interesting part is, it's only $190,000. Granted there will be inflation, some of the estimates will be off, that doesn't count the cost of living, but that's exactly it. It's 13 years of education. If I knew what I wanted to do in life, the moment I turned 18, I wouldn't be as stress, but I'm not 18, I'm 22, without a degree and a semester of college under my belt. I would almost be 35 if I sat down and could afford all of this and commited to all of it. Here's the thing though, I know 35 isn't that old in the grand scheme of things. With my genetic background, I'm predicted to live to at least 80, and knowing my grandparents, a lot longer than that. The worst part is? In Florida, the job posting for "State of Florida Underwater Archaeologist" a job that requires a master's degree in anthropology, archalology, or maritime studies, or related field -- is only paying 46,000 a year. At my current job, a state with a even higher min. wage, I'll bring in about 40,000 without a degree. Yet, then they put all of these parameters into place. Then, there's the fear of going into debt to get this degree. 190,000 isn't a lot if you think about it in the grand scheme of things, but it's a lot when you're supposed to also be working a job to keep yourself alive, on top of this. I'm also more inclined to the water route, because there's so much of our ocean that hasn't been explored. How many ships are lurking in the abyss because man's never been able to go that deep? How can we handle the pressure of space, but not the ocean. What mysteries could we find, if we could just go deeper or look harder?
May 25th, 2026
Why can't people communicate? If I'm being overbearing, just tell me I am. I don't want you to hate me, because I was a bit too serious about making sure they understood what they were doing. It's just frustrating. I'm sorry that I just wanted you to be confident in your job. So, when it's just again, I'll stay quiet. I have a name, if you need something, you'll use it. I get it can be a lot, but verbalizing the issue is important.
Also, my co-worker's being anti-muslim is going to drive me up the wall. It's a whole "Religion of Peace" vs. not a "Religion of Peace" arguement, and I would be more willing to hear them out of if what they were saying held any truth, but when I sit here and search up a quick fact check and they're instantly proven wrong, then there's no point.
I don't want to be a difficult person, I just want to be able to exist where conflict isn't an issue. I know it's the whole point of life. That's with conflict, there will eventually be ease. I've experienced it first hand and man does it suck, but with time I'd like to imagine that you would get used it. Now, I could be wrong, but hey, I'm just throwing darts in the dark and hoping that there's a some sort of target (benefical at least) to hit.
Regardless of the religion, isn't the ultimate goal harmony with everyone else, e.g. don't judge your neighbors, donate to charity-- that whole spiel. Does any religion say to hoard wealth? I don't think so. At least the big ones. Now, could there be a smaller one that does encourage, like maybe Scientology? I'm going to end up on a watch list. It's just a blur of frustration that makes me want to go feral.
Do normal people think this much? Like, in the course of a few paragraphs I've gone through the motions of life. I've gone from ranting and raving about religion, coworkers, hardships-- and now? Zines.I love them, they're quirky, and I'm already planning on making some tomorrow, esp. since I'll have that trainee tomorrow and I wouldn't want to be overbearing, trust me the original conversation was brief, but he got his point across. Anyway, it's a toss up. How nerdy do I want to be? I'm kind of feeling cute critters from an assortment of games. E.g. Junimos from Stardew Valley, the Tabby Slime from Slime Rancher (the first one), Squigs, which is techinally Warhammer, but Hakuna Matata. I feel like I could arrange a solid zine around those. I've also been thinking about a Baldur's Gate 3 one, where I list off a bunch of characters I think would make good companions or at least camp buddies, e.g. Aradin, Zevlor, Sazza, Popper-- the works. The only reason I propose camp buddies, like Isobel and Dame Aylin, is because if they were companions, there's the expectation of lore and potential romancing, which would be a bit more additional work than most modders would consider.
Also, I had to think of the legitmacy of making romance mods for different characters. The biggest issue, surprisingly, would be dialogue. Mind you, we would take a NON AI approach, because screw AI in creative spaces. Anyone can learn to add a character text box and adjust the model, given enough time, but learing a voice that they might not be able to, due to accent or sex or anything else. That's where we have splicing. You would have to, for this example, I'll use Zevlor: Take a lot of Zevlor lines and cut them. I can't think of anything off the top of my head exactly, but if you were wanting him to say "goodnight", he might have a line where he says "good", but you might not have him saying "night". So, you would need to find him saying a word beginning with "n", and then for example the word "right" and cutting off the "r" from it and slapping the "n" on it and doing a bit of finicking to make it sound right. Now, imagine doing that for a bunch of words/sentences. It'll get tedious, but eventually you'll build this library of Zevlor dialogue that you can plug anywhere. Now, if he was just a camp buddy, instead of a romancable companion (which I was implying before, but failed to mention), you have the joy of getting away with less dialogue, because you ain't trying to seduce someone. It also gets harder with more obscure characters. Popper has less dialogue that some people and to add onto that, an unique voice. So, some things might not be capable with him, unless you then choose to work with other comparable voices. For example, in Act 1.5 there are more kobolds. Now, they don't sound exactly like Popper, nor will they have comparable voice lines, but it could be close enough to get the point across. The point is, unless you're the original voice actor, in this instance, you ain't getting perfect, but you can sure get close.
May 26th, 2026
I can't tell if I'm on the verge of mania or just losing my marbles. My boss does this thing where he asks if we can work or shift and I tend to respond with a, "I could, but I don't want to." That normally ends up with me being put back in the hot seat. This time I told him I had obligations (a lie which he wouldn't know, but he does know enough other details, that the lie doesn't seem unlikely.
Additionally, I'm with the trainee again (writing this while he tries to figure out how to add a particular piece of information), and I plan on keeping myself firmly planted in my seat, until he expresses that he needs something, which I don't think he will. I'll end up having to go through his work later and print out any of his mistakes
I've also been pondering over a few long term fanfiction ideas, which is really just me further procrasinating my original stories. However, one of them is like really good. I'm thinking and Atlantis: The Lost Empire and Indiana Jones crossover. Milo wouldn't have stayed in Atlantis, and potential not discover it, meanwhile Indiana would've made it thorugh the first movie, and potentially the game, but no later than that. They would have a secret relationship, due to era-typical homophobia, but that relationship is the reason Milo would agree to go with Indiana. I haven't narrowed down what they would be hunting yet, but the intention is that the antagonist would be the Nazi from The Great Ark, then i would get the one from Atlantis (it's been too long since I've watched the movie). I also think I want to throw in Good Omens, the TV series, since if we ignore Season 3, RIP ineffable husbands, then I could have Aziraphale and Crowley tag along, because they've been around canonically for a long time, and who's to say that they haven't crossed paths at one point?
See, fanfiction can be fun? The best part though? It inspires. Yeah, some Author's like Anne Rice and JK Rowling might hate it, but that's what it does. I want to write a book that combines elements from all my favorite media, but that doesn't make it fanfiction, it makes it entirely new. Now, could I try to rewrite Ghost Ship (2002) adn shove it in a trench coat and claim it was something new? Well, yeah. There wouldn't be any fun in that though. It would be boring. It would make it on the list like, "Media that reminds me of Ghost Ship (2002)", where Man of Medan was first (even though it's a really neat game, I just need to finish it), and my book was second. I want to be a literary genuis. I want to combine insane elements that otherwise would never be combined.
I had the idea for a book, regarding cannibal tribes in the area north of the Hudson Bay (Canada). It would be a man returning home after not visiting for years, due to a complicated relationship with his parents. His parents are in charge of going and manually tracking temperatures at a tower on a nearby island, however his mom didn't come home, and when there dad went to check, blood everywhere, but no body, and a strong indication, she was taken further in the island. Now, you won't know this yet, but I'm going to tell you. The cannibal idea? It's kind of inspired by the tribe they meet in the King Kong movie with Jack Black. However, there's a historic element to it, where we focus on a Northern Europe Slave Trade. I don't know quite how it would've worked, hence why it's an idea. However, it focuses on two slave girls being brought to the island in Canada, to be re-distributed. One would be a Danish/Swedish girl and the other would be of middle-Eastern orgins, and when the man character is flying to his home to go to the island, then there's a flash back of the girls playing, before being kidnapped and being taken to the island and that's how the rest of the story would go. It's almost a way of saving history is cylindrical. The main protagonist might not be an actual slave, but he's a slave to his emotions, his past, the things that keep him from returning home, and now he's being forced to address it. In the end, his mom will be dead, it will turn out his dad was going crazy, He'll watch someone get brutally murdered, and be put to his wits end.
I had another one, that was going to be a horror/thriller, disguised as a fantasy novel. A college-aged student with mental illness goes to her friend's religious ceremony, and she just assumes it's some Indo-European religion that's very quiet about it's prescence, and she claims it's this entire omen thing when the ceremony goes south and the world will end in a week, unless we can find the incarnation of the evil entity, and they end up convincing her to kill her best friend, and because she's in so deep, she ends up joining thei religious cult. I had a good name too. The first book would be named Amber's Ascent, then there would be a second book called Dani's Descent, where Dani, a character you met in the first book, would realize she was in a cult, and make's the choice to distance herself, fall from what they had considered a blessing, and choose freedom over strict, problematic doggma. It's interesting for me, because I'm trying to make choices for these characters.
There are so many options! I've had a few others come in go, but I like keeping those in my head, so that I can erase them and rewrite them, and scrub out the flaws. Like, I have this one about an organization centered around Wengido research, but not like your traditonal, I'm going to eat humans wendigo, I mean they would, but more like there's variants. There's those who convert out of desperation, then there's ancient lineages of them that have always exist, and there are the rest. some are born from converted wendigos, some come from diluted bloodlines of the ancients. The works. It would be a large organization, but I would take it from a mentor/mentee approach, where once you've gotten at least an associates degree, you could choose to focus on wendigos, within the organization. The degree being in the case the organization was to fail, taking your income with it, they had plausible deniability if you were to need and find a job, because it should be easier, since you at least have a degree. It would be the Main Protagonist, probably a couple other supporting characters, e.g. another apprentice, a spouse to the mentor, a neighbor, perhaps an extra friendly wendigo. It would be really, really, really good, found family content.
May 27th, 2026
I finished Wintermute (The Long Dark) and I cried about it. It has a lot of bad reviews on Steam, but it's also from people who have been playing the game the entire time, unlike me who found it a year, maybe 2 ago. The story's ending is ambigious enough that I can write all the fanfiction I want and I'm here for it. If it isn't obvious I am very much the type to turn anything into fanfiction. I'm feeling a The Long Dark/Wintermute fanfiction, where they go to Langston Mines (a mine in the DLC, I've yet to accutally explore, but is apparently the largest in the game), under the guise it'll help them from the effects of the aurora, and they basically have to speed sunset to sunrise in it. Hobbs would probably make a come back. Perhaps Father Thomas- People who wouldn't have made it to the bunker, potentially.
Also, I think the winter depression is starting to go away, so I'm feeling feral.
Anyway, β¨ zines β¨
I have a few on my brain now. I know I rambeld about them earlier, but I have more. I want to make a series of zines about how to send mail to x country. 'cause if you don't know, it can be very, very, very, very, very hard-- esp. in countries that are less developed than others. So, it would be, "How To Mail A Letter To :Insert_Country_Name: From The United States" (since that's where I live). Also, I'd love a series of zines with little tips about the long dark, e.g. lantarn fuel can be acquired from cooking fish. Just little things. Little agendas. I want it to look like it's written by someone on Great Bear Island. Like, little notes. Survival guide type stuff.
Also, I'm debating a Baldur's Gate 3 run versus a Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous run. Both are good games, I just got to focus not on romancing people and actually like, reading the lore. If I did Baldur's Gate 3, I would want to play as a Monk with music prof., so that they could play intrustments, then I could get the Punch Drunk(?), 100 Book Achievement, and the one for earning 100 gold busking (numbers might be off, points stand). There's also the achievement to say Sazza, that I might want to complete. I've also considered playing as a wizard, but they don't have the subclass I'd want.