Alright, it's almost 6:30 in the morning and I feel... different? Depression is weird. I'll spend all winter, inconsolable, but then the suns decides to come out earlier and stay later, then I'm getting better? It's kind of frustrating in a way, because how can I feel like I'm on top of the world and could, sometimes, accomplish a feat no man has had before?
It's manic behavior.
When I was younger, I used to call it "Kill God" energy. Then I dabbled in religion a bit, so I stopped calling it that. I haven't really got the whole religious thing figured out, but claiming you have the energy to kill a divine person/entity/etc you would worship or venerate sounds a bit counter-productive, doesn't it?
There's also this issue I've been having with myself, but not really myself, but the future I could face. We can all agree, the internet is a place of influence. Then tell me why every piece of media I've consumed, in the Movies/TV Series Department™️ has a sad/bittersweet ending, for the the LGBTQIA+ crowd? For example, Good Omens or Our Flag Means Death. I could throw Brokeback Mountain on the list, but that wouldn't be fair, because it was intentional. It was exploring era-typical homophobia and the stigma revolving around it. When will the LGBTQIA+ people get their Hallmark worthy endings in film? Bringing it back to main purpose of me bringing this up. I am apart of the LGBTQIA+ crowd and all I've learnt from film, through exposure, is that I'm not going to get a happy ending, as ridiculous as that sounds. Sure, I'll find the love of my life, maybe have a few, fantastic decades with them, but then what? We could get crushed under the weight of what society expects from us or what is and isn't acceptable.
I get to work with my favorite coworker! It's nice, since he'll probably won't be doing much. I forgot my laptop charger at home, so I'm hoping that if I just stick to browser-based things, e.g. Bg3 on Google Chrome, through GeForce.
Also, I'm doing Swoon-June and I'm thinking about dedicating it to one fandom. It's a toss up between Ghost Ship (2002) and Congo (1995). I would like to do Congo (1995), because it is such a fall fandom (basically just me), but there's also been rumors of a new Ghost Ship movie coming out, that I feel like fan-service will spike in the next couple of years if it's true, there's something a bit mischievous about throwing 30-ish fanfictions in it's direction. Does that make sense? I don't want to write just for the people, hence why I'm choosing 2 of my more niche fandoms. There's also the alternative, of focusing on a particular pairing. Some that came to mind was Gale and Rolan, Dodge and Munder, Dr. Peter Elliott and Richard, or even one from Isekai: Slow Life! Probably something with Maxim, maybe Lincale, since close proximity is already established. I actually do like that.
There's a few other options, but enough of that for now. I could alternatively do 30-ish days of zines! Short little stories, revolving around an assortment of ships. I think it would be cute, but the demand of 1 zine a day for that long, might be a lot, esp. since I still have a goal of 1,000 works per day to maintain and I don't know how 1,000 words will look in a zine. It'd be different if I wrote the story, made notations, then assembled the zines later. It would be fun regardless though. I might save it for the "12 Days of Christmas" writing challenge.
I'm just a silly girl, in a fan space. I like making my lil' ship-based zines and encouraging characters to be thoguht about differently. In 2027, I think I want to make a "Dating Simulator" for a particular character. Just something short and simple. Unless I learn to use a program where you can save your progress.